i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize