my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
