somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
