just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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