never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
