Screwed.edu
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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