Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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