I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
