He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
