Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
