Redeem this text for a blowjob
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
