when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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