While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
