I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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