I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
