we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
