You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
