Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
