They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
