...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
