i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize