How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
