i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize