Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
