I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
