I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
