why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
