That's intense
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
