I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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