sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
