my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
