just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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