The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
false alarm, still single
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
