You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
