He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I need to calm my uterus...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
