This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
