just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She announced her abortion via fbk
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
