He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize