Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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