he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
