i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
