So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
