How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
