The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize