God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
