ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
