Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
