Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
