you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
