Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
