Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize