idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize