But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize