wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
