:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
