If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize