should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
