1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
