you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
