She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
