im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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