he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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